So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
