Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
