I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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