Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Alive.
So much puke
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
