just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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