How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize