I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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