As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Please, let me fuck your mom
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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