Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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