bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
