were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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