Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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