I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They took my balls.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
