Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
