i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize