i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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