One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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