Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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