i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
