you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize