I think my fart just growled at me.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I still have a little drunk in my system
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
