he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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