Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
