we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
