I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
