So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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