turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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