I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
