he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
