Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
