Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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