Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
