I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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