yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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