I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
