Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
