if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
