I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
