Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
