so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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