My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
