I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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