Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you inspire me to be a worse person
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
