Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
