brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
