I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
