$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
