Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
