I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
