Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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