am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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