I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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