your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize