Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
