Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize