If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
