You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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