She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
porn star boner night. come get it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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