I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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