Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
