Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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