I love black thongs
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
