No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize