You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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