apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
