it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
