Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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