So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You may now shotgun with the bride
I got inside last night via doggy door
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
