She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize