just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
