my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
