Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
