Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm just crazy horny about you
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
