His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
