Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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