she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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