Duck Duck Cougar?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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