Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
