She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
