seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
