i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
